True Stories of Addiction: Amber
Growing up Amber lived in two different worlds right after her parents divorced. Her dad was a big “man’s man” in a biker gang who enjoyed drinking alcohol daily, and her mother was a nurse who was very modest, proper and would drink once a year- at most. Just because Amber grew up in two different worlds, with a father that liked to drink, doesn’t mean her father’s drinking or her parents’ divorce caused her to drink and experiment with drugs. Amber does not like to make excuses for her drinking, she knows she has a disease and that it is no one’s fault but her own.
When Amber was in college she believes, when drinking, she had what is called a “Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” syndrome. This syndrome caused her to rage with anger when drunk and caused all of her “daddy issues” to come out. When this syndrome came out, she was not a nice person, Amber was so mean she doesn’t understand how she still had friends. She was so miserable while drunk and sober. There was no escape that really worked for Amber anymore. So, she decided that the world would be a better place without her in it.
Alcohol and Suicide
Amber made the decision to end her life that day. This wasn’t a cry for help and she wasn’t craving attention. She was truly done with everything and was numb to all emotions. Before doing what she had to do to end it all, she made a phone call to her best friend. Amber didn’t tell her best friend what she was about to do but the phone call brought this friend worry. As any good friend would do, she made a few phone calls when Amber wasn’t answering her phone. This friend got ahold of Ambers step mom who rushed to the house to see if Amber was okay.
Well, let’s just say if Ambers step mom got there any later than she did, Amber wouldn’t be with us today. She was rushed to the hospital; her feet were purple and she was dying. The emergency room doctor couldn’t believe what Amber has done to herself. After he made sure she was stable, she arrived at a mental hospital to get the mental medical attention she needed. Amber went to the hospital, detoxing off Alcohol and terrified. She really didn’t believe she needed to be there and manipulated her therapist into letting her leave treatment.
Alcohol Causing Disaster
Amber kept drinking Alcohol and abusing drugs as soon as she was released from the hospital. Shortly after her hospital stay, she met a boy who ended up being her husband. She didn’t understand what he saw in her but she knew he loved her so she let it happen. Amber ended up getting pregnant and stopped drinking and smoking cigarettes for the health of her baby.
Amber had a goal to be this amazing mother but didn’t realize that Alcohol had such a strong hold on her. After her son was born, she thought she could have just one drink. That one drink turned into a gallon of vodka she split with a friend. As Amber stumbled into her house after a long night of drinking, her husband looked at her and asked her for a divorce. He didn’t want the person she was, when she drank, to raise their child. He wanted Amber to get the help she needed. She ended up getting back into the 12-step program because she didn’t want her husband and son to leave.
Amber tried to get sober but at the end of the night found herself drinking while her baby and husband were sleeping. She would sneak into her son’s room, lay next to his bed and cry. She would apologize to him repletely, hoping one say she could change for him.
Recovery from Alcoholism
Thankfully, her son never heard that, but Amber thought like that daily while she was drinking. Amber decided to go to a nearby restaurant that day and was introduced to a woman who worked a 12-step program and attended 12-step meetings. Amber asked this woman for her number and called her the next day to see if this woman would sponsor her. Amber was willing to do what it took to stay sober for the sake of her life and her family.
About three months into Ambers sobriety she got pregnant with her daughter. The majority of her first year in recovery she was pregnant and terrified she would go back to drinking after the baby was born because that is what she did with her son. But because Amber had gotten involved with the 12-step program, Alcohol was the last thing on her mind. She gave birth to her daughter, and her daughter never has to see her mother getting loaded off Alcohol.
The 12-step program and recovery have changed Ambers life. Amber and her husband are now on great terms; she doesn’t cry to her children that she is their mother, and she is an overall happy person. She doesn’t know where she would be today without recovery but knows it wouldn’t be a pretty place. Amber says if she can do it you can too. Recovery isn’t easy but it is possible and you are worth it. If you are seeking to stop drink alcohol or using drugs, give us a call. We can help you find recovery. Our number is: (866) 578-7471
This content was originally published here.