For the First Time Since I was 13, I Am Proud Confident and Drug-Free!
Addiction has had a hold on my life since I was 13 years old. I knew I had a problem when I drank and got very sick but still wanted more, even when I was kissing the toilet. It is the one major thing that has always separated me from my closest family and friends. The thing that has always scared me the most is being dope sick.
In July of 2009, I had to admit to my family that I had a pill problem because I had become so sick from withdrawal. My family took me to a rehab the next day. I will never forget my brother holding me and crying, saying to me please go or you will die. In 2013 I started taking suboxone which led to 7 years of hell.
I reached out to Narconon Suncoast last November, but I was not ready to commit to a longer treatment center and instead went to a 28-day program because I thought my only problem was the Suboxone, not the daily drinking or the molly that I was taking 24/7. I was sick for half of the 28 days I was in that facility and it was pure hell. I was released on December 15, 2020 and started drinking the minute I walked back in the door to my home. Within a week and a half of being home I was back on the streets, hurting myself and my family.
I called Narconon again and they still wanted to help me. In early January, after being drunk for 3 days, I asked my mom to bring me to Narconon Suncoast. I was nervous, scared, and an emotional mess knowing I was leaving my family again. It was a daze coming in because of the alcohol and molly, and my first day the nerves were in full force, kind of like being the new kid on the first day of school.
Withdrawal was difficult at first, but the things that they did with me really started helping me get out of my head. Sauna was next and perhaps the most important part. It was an interesting and mind-blowing experience feeling myself get better physically, feeling the drugs leave my body, especially because I had so many years of substances stored in my system having used since I was 13 years old. Objectives were a wake-up call. I was skeptical at first, but the more I let my walls down, the more I realized. I realized what started my addiction and the certain places and things that contributed to it. I was able to identify a very traumatic experience from my childhood through a powerful realization I had during one objective. My twin during this part of the program helped me more than I can ever say, and I owe her a very big thank you!
Life skills was definitely an eye-opener. I numbed and fixed everything with drugs my whole life and hung out with people who did the same or also had no goals for their lives. You are what you surround yourself with. Handlings helped me open doors that I thought had permanently been shut. Before coming to Narconon Suncoast my brother and sister had washed their hands of me, but now there is a chance for those relationships to heal. Personal values helped me realize all the pain, hurt, and blame I put on myself and others. I feel a great relief knowing I am on the path to fixing those relationships.
Addiction is the devil and if you have never been through it you likely will not understand. I can proudly and confidently say I will never go back. I now know my worth and it is so much more, and my son deserves a healthy and happy mommy. Thank you Narconon Suncoast and all the staff who helped me along the way.
This content was originally published here.